I’m ashamed to admit that it has taken me five years of living in Athens and countless rain-checks to lose my culinary virginity to the highly-acclaimed and historic Last Resort Grill.
As I approached the restaurant with a full balcony on a particularly nippy evening, I assumed the inside was full and prepared myself for the dreaded wait period.
My first of many pleasant surprises: a whopping three-minute delay.
An old-timey glass milk bottle, now filled with ice water, and a bread basket hidden under a neatly-folded cloth, appeared only moments after I had sat down, as if their arrival had been timed. At first glance, Gary, the waiter could’ve been mistaken for Count Olaf from “Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events,” if it wasn’t for his pajama flannel and outdated Nike high-tops. His friendly smile and eager attitude made me laugh, and his chipper energy seemed honest and unforced as he crouched his long legs to recite the daily specials.
Gary answered the string of questions this wine connoisseur-in-training had about the double-sided wine list. After conferring with the bartender, a 2004 Byron Pinot Blanc, Santa Maria Valley (on special) was escorted for tasting. The subtle citrus cleansed my palate while I applauded Gary for his remarkable ability to make my white wine cravings tangible.
The steamy bread peeked out from under the luxurious cotton comforter with a sense of fleeting urgency. I wasted no time devouring the sourdough, embracing the peaceful atmosphere of the restaurant. Although the candle-lit tables had just enough room for comfort, the crowded restaurant wasn’t cluttered. And noise? Unusually muted.
The walls were adorned with a series of University of Georgia-themed oil paintings for sale, largely those of the famous wrought-iron Arch.
Gary returned with festive southwestern roll that seemed to warrant an “Ole!” “A crispy roll of southwestern flavors, finished with a spicy roasted tomato salsa” is a description too bland for the orgasmic burst of flavor hidden in this graciously-portioned appetizer. The presentation of the diced bell peppers formed a color wheel of sunny hues, until the blistered rolls were dissected and the rich goo of dill-infused cream cheese interrupted the plate composition.
The salad preceeding my entree would have been forgettable had it not been for the appetizing homemade jalapeno honey mustard dressing, a delectable condiment I’ll store in the noggin.
The anticipation for the U-10 scallop entree grew, with the other dishes passed off as foreplay. I was ready for my climax.
There it was, in divine glory. Four plump, plum-sized scallops circled around a monster of a plate, stealing the spotlight from the mountain of mashed potatoes and brittle onion rings in the center. I felt my taste buds dance as I tasted the lava-like consistency of the sweet gazpacho clinging to the succulent jumbo scallop.
Enduring the stomach-bursting pains was unbearable after the monstrous scallop dish, yet I couldn’t leave without a piece of tempting raspberry cheesecake and some Jittery Joe’s decaf. Delicately creamy and luscious at the same time, the cake sent my body into a euphoric trance, paralyzing by my impeccable dining experience. The pacing of the dishes was timed in sync with my slow-eating nature as Gary did not pressure us out the door.
After spending two relaxing hours at Last Resort Grill, I now understand the hoopla. The casual attitude of the staff combined with the sophisticated menu and table decor creates an ambiance attracting young and old alike. The support of local artists and businesses like Jittery Joe’s also encourages repeat customers.
The simple idea of leaving a jug of water at the table reduces the stress on the server as well as the annoyance of thirsty customers. Cleaning the tables of the finished placed by whoever walks by is such a brilliant practice of the staff that it’s astounding to me that I can recall no other restaurant that shows the same hospitality.
I feel cheated now that I have experienced the pampering of Last Resort Grill. The service alone is worth the bill, but the heavenly food is worth twice that. What essentially resulted in two six-course meals and a bottle of wine had me fork over just under a Benjamin, before Gary’s well-deserved tip. Last resort? Nuh-uh. The only resort.
VERDICT: Stomach-exploding goodness worth the price.
LAST RESORT GRILL
174-184 W. Clayton St.
Athens, Ga.
1 comment:
Ha! I liked your review, and not just because of the sexual, suggestive language.
I agree about the oil paintings, water pitcher and other subtle touches. The atmosphere is inviting, and the price of lunch is also so reasonable that it catapults the restaurant into a league of its own. The sentiment you express is your funny kicker is justified. I always leave Last Resort happy I ate there at the time and, like you, angry that I hadn't visited it sooner.
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